Committing to Him When the Pain Keeps Coming

This week, I was reading the bible and pondering on the verse that says, "Commit your way to the Lord" Ps. 37:5. To truly commit my way to the Lord is to give it to Him and leave it with Him. Usually, I lay it before Him and then walk away with it again accomplishing nothing.

How do I commit something like a health condition to the Lord that physically does not really go away. I wake up with it each morning and fall asleep with it. So, how do I truly give it to God and let go?

I have been so thankful lately that God is blessing me with a season these past few months of a "break" from my Crohn's disease symptoms. I spend a normal amount of time in the restroom like everyone else (once a day :)). I have more energy lately, and I am able to eat more in my diet. Also, I am almost done weaning off of Pentasa.

Although my typical crohn's symptoms are under control, this does not mean that my whole body is healthy like a normal person's either. I must not forget that I still have an autoimmune disease that can affect every aspect of my body.

Unfortunately while my stomach symptoms are getting better, my joint pain is getting worse and my GI doctor believes I developed a form of arthritis, which very common with Crohn's patients.

My joint pain started in the spring right after I weaned off of Endocort, a type of steroid. My doctor believes the steroid was keeping my arthritis from starting in my body. I cannot go back on the Edocort as a long term solution, because steroids are not good for the body long term.

So, my doctor is trying very hard to get me in to see a rheumatologist so I can get a correct diagnoses and form a treatment plan that is best for me.

In the mean time, tomorrow I will be getting my first steroid injection into my left thumb joint. This joint hurts the worst, and I have lost some range of motion. I'm nervous about the shot, because the idea of a shot going into a joint and not fat gives me the chills! eek.

I joke around a lot with my friends saying that with my health condition it seems to just be "one thing after another!" There are days I do not want to commit my health, my worries, my fears, my anger and my frustrations to the Lord. I want to control it and just deal with it. Or ignore it. Pretend it's not there.

But the God blesses persistence. God asks us to have faith in Him, because "He can do immeasurably more than ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Eph. 3:21)."

He can only bless us if we allow Him to work within us. We must allow Him to take control. We must give Him the reigns each morning and maybe multiple times through the day.

Lord,

I am so thankful that you are giving me healing and relief from my stomach problems I have struggled with for so long. I know that your hands are on me and giving me physical relief.

I want to leave before you right now my fears that are rising over my arthritis pain. How will this affect my future? Can I handle this and Crohn's disease too? I know I can't, that is why I need you. I'm so young. I want a future that allows me range of motion and flexibility and no pain to take care of my future babies. With my pain in my thumb, I want to be able to pick up my baby, fold laundry and do dishes.

These are my fears that are swirling around in my head. Take them. Please. Give me strength tomorrow and all the days to continue to commit myself to you - not just my medical concerns but all aspects of my life, my marriage, my future, my family and my job.

Amen

Did the Flu Shot Give Me the Flu?

My husband and I both have contracted what we believe is the flu. No, we have no visited a doctor, but it's pretty easy to detect the flu - fever, runny and stuffy nose, congestion, dry cough, headache and body aches. We both started feeling sick on the same day too.

So, who caught it from who?

About 3 weeks ago, I received my annual flu shot like the good girl that I am. Isaac did not. Isaac has never gotten a flu shot and says he never gets the flu - until now. Looking back on my childhood, I always got the flu at least once a year. Although, I don't seem to get the flu as much not that I am in my twenties.

This article has been trending Facebook telling readers 11 reasons you should not get the flu shot. Our sickness and this article created dialogue between my husband and I that got me thinking. Did the flu shot give me the flu, thus giving the flu to Isaac? Should I continue getting a flu shot?

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (The CDC) provides this FAQ page about the flu shot. What I got from this is that the flu shot is altered every season by scientists making an estimated prediction as to what types of flu will be most "popular" in communities. The flu shot does not protect against all types of colds and flu viruses, only those that are predicted to be most common. So, yes you can get sick and have other flu-like viruses even after getting the flu shot.

The CDC says that those who are most vulnerable are those with lowered immune systems, babies and the elderly. However, they suggest that everyone receive the seasonal flu shot.

I have a lowered immune system due to the immunosuppressant injection (Cimzia) I take bi-monthly for my Crohn's disease. uh oh.

The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA) supports the CDC by encouraging all inflammatory bowel disease patients, especially those who are taking immunosuppressant drugs, to get a flu shot. The CCFA's website also says that the flu shot will protect individuals from common strains of flu viruses - only the most common ones.

Like the trending Facebook article talks about, it is true that the flu shot puts a little bit of the virus in your body to help your body become immune to the common spreading virus. However according to www.cdc.gov:

No, a flu shot cannot cause flu illness. Flu vaccines that are administered with a needle are currently made in two ways: the vaccine is made either with a) flu vaccine viruses that have been 'inactivated' and are therefore not infectious, or b) with no flu vaccine viruses at all (which is the case for recombinant influenza vaccine). The most common side effects from the influenza shot are soreness, redness, tenderness or swelling where the shot was given. Low-grade fever, headache and muscle aches also may occur.

The most interesting fact I found on the CDC's webpage was their blunt confession that "unfortunately the flu vaccine does not always provide adequate protection against the flu. This is more likely to occur among people with weakened immune systems or people age 65 and older."

So basically, the flu shot is not something to bank on nor, in my opinion, is it a complete waste of time. I believe it is better than nothing, but no it doesn't always work. And it does not keep you safe from all flu viruses across the board. 

Truly, the best ways to stay safe from viruses in general is to:

Wash your hands regularly

Stay away from other sick people. Maybe walk around with a mask on from November till May...jk, but seriously. 

Take vitamins that help build a strong immune system

Do what you can to built up your immune system. Our bodies are intricately complex and designed to fight internal battles. But we must supply the tools and nutrients it needs for those battles.

What do you think? I'd love to hear other's view on getting the flu shot - especially those with chronic illnesses.

The Model Home Seduction

In the one year that we have been homeowners, I have fallen prey to the seduction of model home. From the day our offer was accepted on our home, my head started making plans. Plans that included many dollar signs.

First, I made plans to fill all the blank walls. And there are so many blank walls to fill. Then I made plans to purchase decorations for every major holiday. I did not realize how many holidays there are till I wanted to decorate for them. More plans followed with desires for new and additional furniture to fill our home (inside and outside), new floors, kitchen counter tops and of course backsplash. When spring came, more plans began to develop in my mind for landscaping. And the list just goes on. I wanted all this and a vacation! 

There are things you need as a homeowner, like a mower, blinds for privacy, a refrigerator and a washer and dryer. Many of my plans did not include necessities but wants that sure felt like needs. 

The lure of the model home I believe is a struggle for many women. If my home is beautiful, put- together, clean and decorated like a Pottery Barn catalog, people will think that my life is just as great. If my home meets certain perfection requirements, then people will see that my life is calm, cool and collected as well. Friends and family will never know that we live off of a budget. Guests will never know what we can't afford. 

Such dirty little lies. 

I'm slaughtering these lies with the truth that we do live on a budget. We can't afford all my plans right now. And that is okay. 

To obsess over and strive for the perfect model home will create a less than perfect life.  

Spending money constantly on unnecessary material things will affect finances, which in turn will  cause anxiety and strain on a marriage. Maybe just little arguments here and there, but it can grow. And this is not the kind of growth I want in my household. 

When my focus is centered around creating a false appearance and pleasing house guests, my heart is not focused on loving my husband and just enjoying our time together as newlyweds. My mind is not focused on spending time with the Lord and finding fulfillment from Him in His Word. 

My husband has consistently reminded me we have to pace ourselves when making adjustments to our home. When it comes to finances, the necessary items must come first (like when we had to purchase four new tires for my car last week). The things we want must be budgeted, saved for and spaced out (like wood floors).

To be smart with money is to be smart with marriage.