I can't though. I just can't. It is so much a part of having Inflammatory Bowel Disease and a part of my young life right now.
Those of you who don't know what a colonoscopy is, let me enlighten you.
Usually young people are unaware of this procedure, because unless you have a reason, like me, for a doctor to look inside your colon and intestines, you will not need a colonoscopy till later in life. Medical professionals encourage adults to have a colonoscopy regularly after they turn 50 years old to test for things like colon cancer, polyps, tumors, imflammation etc.
Colonoscopy is a test that allows your doctor to look at the inner lining of your large intestine (rectum and colon). He or she uses a thin, flexible tube called a colonoscope to look at the colon.
The colonoscope is a thin, flexible tube that ranges from 48 in. (122 cm) to 72 in. (183 cm) long. A small video camera is attached to the colonoscope so that your doctor can take pictures or video of the large intestine (colon). The colonoscope can be used to look at the whole colon and the lower part of the small intestine.
Before this test, you will need to clean out your colon (colon prep). Colon prep takes 1 to 2 days, depending on which type of prep your doctor recommends. Some preps may be taken the evening before the test. For many people, the prep for a colonoscopy is more trying than the actual test. Plan to stay home during your prep time since you will need to use the bathroom often. The colon prep causes loose, frequent stools and diarrhea so that your colon will be empty for the test. The colon prep may be uncomfortable and you may feel hungry on the clear liquid diet. - www.webmd.com
I had to have a colonoscopy in order to be officially diagnosed with Crohn's disease so that the doctor could point out and actually see the inflammation lining my intestines and colon. This time, I am hoping they see that the inflammation has subsided.
It's true though, the prep, the day before the procedure, is the worst part of it all. Not only can I not eat solid foods all day long, but I have to drink a strong laxative that removes all the bowels inside my intestines. So, I will be on the toilet for quite a while Sunday. I even am prepping for the prep! I bought a book to read, soft toilet paper and wipes.
Tonight as I am thinking about and dreading Sunday, I ask myself if I want to go to church on Sunday morning. Immediately I think, no, I'd much rather sleep in to make the day go by faster and stay near a toilet.
But then I heard God say to me, Come worship me, and I will feed you. You will hunger no more.
I'll admit, I hate fasting. I have never had the desire to fast. Never saw the point. Never wanted to. I want to eat. I want food! I can still love God, put Him first and eat food. So, screw that.
On Sunday, I will have no choice but to medically fast. But I feel that God is also calling me to take this opportunity to spiritually fast - to sings songs for him, to read his Word, and to lean on Him when I am hungry and in pain.
And that is what I will do.
I am writing out my plan to spiritually fast publicly so that I can be kept more accountable to follow through with God's request.
I will write a follow up blog post next week to report back how my colonoscopy prep went and the results. Please say a prayer for me on Sunday. If you personally know me, do not hesitate to text me to ask how my spiritual fast is going. ;)
My sweet husband has even offered to fast with me to make the experience easier on me. Let's keep him accountable too!