My New Year's Hope

While everyone has been making their New Years resolutions, I have been putting off writing about what I truly hope for for 2014. Mostly out of fear. Fear that if I write down my hope, that I might jinks it and ruin it. 

This year, I have hope for a change. A change that I have been working and praying towards for two and a half years now. 

Remission from my Crohn's disease.  

A break, a pause, a rest from an illness that I know will follow me till a cure is found. 

That is only what remission is. Just a break. It could be a year, three years or 10 years. I don't know. But a break sounds nice. And a break will do just fine. 

I truly believe I am unofficially in remission from my stomach/intestinal symptoms. I have had only one to two bathroom visits per day for approximately six months now. That is something to be proud of. :) Here and there I have stomach upsets, but nothing that last longer than a day or two. 

On Monday January 13, 2014, a colonoscopy should tell me where my inflammation levels are at currently. And then I will know if I have reached my goal. Although, my prayers have already been answered. 

God just give me a break. I'm tired. I need your strength. 

And he did just that. Right after my tough bout of Steven Johnson Syndrome in August 2013 with a fever for three weeks straight, God gave me a break. Thank you Jesus. 

Ever since I was told I had Crohn's disease in September 2011, I have thought will I ever feel normal again? Will I feel sick, tired, in pain, unable to eat yummy food, and running to the bathroom 20 times a day forever?

There have been moments I never thought I'd catch a break. But thankfully, I have. 

Yes, the illness remains in my body, maybe forever, managed by a bi-monthly immunosuppressant injection for now. However, the symptoms, the pain, the tears, the fear, the shame, the physical and emotional fatigue is not forever. 

I really believe when I call upon the strongest healer, my God, that He helps me. He will sustain me and carry me through my trials of life. He may not heal my physical ailment, but he can heal my heart. He heals my fear. He heals my sadness and replaces it with joy. He heals my shame, and gives me strength to share my troubles. He replaces pain with joy. 

This is ultimate healing. 

Considering the Christmas Story

The other day I was wondering if the Christmas story of Jesus birth ever gets old to others. It's the same story year after year, and all churches are faced with trying to draw in visitors with a unique message to hear the real meaning of Christmas, again. Many people know the story and even display nativity sets in their homes. But many might not believe the story is true, so deep down it really has no meaning to them at Christmas time.

While sharing these thoughts, a friend of mine reminded me that maybe the message is not only for those who have not heard the story before but also for those who do not believe it's true meaning. And maybe she was right. Maybe it does "get old" for some, but I think there is something in the story that intrigues people each year. It may intrigue people enough to bring them in the doors of a church on Christmas eve.  Or think  more about the song lyrics to "Silent Night."

More than any other time of the year, maybe Christmas is a season to really spread the story of Jesus' life, beecause Christmas is a time when "many unbelievers pause to consider Christ (Mary Fairchild)."

It is the time of year when people are more vulnerable, emotional, and open to considering the message of Jesus birth. People tend to open their hearts more around this time of year. They soften and consider opening a door to the possibility of this truth.

For me, the story of Jesus birth is never "gets old." It's a reminder of why he came to this earth and what he did for us. His birth is a reminder of who God is - loving, forgiving, and willing to sacrifice His son in atonement for our sins - even before we ever asked for forgiveness of all the things we have done wrong.

The nativity sets have more meaning to me as I have grown older. The holiday songs that sing of Christ's birth have significance.

My husband and I were jokingly arguing over which Christmas songs are "classics." I said Hanson and Amy Grant. He says holiday songs that Nat King Cole sings. But these below are truly classics to me. Songs that sing of a savior that was born into a human body so he could die for me and I could join him in heaven one day.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King; Let every heart prepare Him room, And heaven and nature sing, And heaven and nature sing, And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing. - Joy to the World

What Child is this who, laid to rest, On Mary's lap is sleeping? Whom angels greet with anthems sweet, While shepherds watch are keeping?

This, this is Christ the King, Whom shepherds guard and angels sing; Haste, haste, to bring Him laud, The Babe, the Son of Mary.

Why lies He in such mean estate, Where ox and ass are feeding? Good Christians, fear, for sinners here, The silent Word is pleading.

Nails, spear shall pierce Him through, The cross be borne for me, for you. Hail, hail the Word made flesh, The Babe, the Son of Mary. - What Child is This? 

If you are considering the Christmas story of Jesus' birth this year, know this: It might seem like an impossible and ridiculous story of a virgin giving birth to the savior of the world. But, why wouldn't you want to be true? Maybe the idea that someone exists who wants to save you and forgive you of all the things that make you feel guilty about your life makes you squirm. Maybe the idea of accepting forgiveness when you cannot even forgive yourself is just too much to handle. It's too overwhelming. I believe it's true. I believe this is the best story to believe of them all. It gives me hope, joy and peace beyond understanding. 

Happy Holidays

Healthy All-Natural Green Bean Casserole

Healthy All-Natural Green Bean Casserole (except for the fried topping ;))

Isaac and I were so proud of ourselves this past week when we made a healthy rendition of the infamous Thanksgiving green bean casserole. We said "No" to canned green beans and "No" to cream of mushroom soup! However, I could not resist the yummy crunchy fried onion topping!

To make this wonderfully delicious healthy casserole, we followed and combined the ingredients and directions of these two recipes:

http://teaspooncomm.com/teaspoonofspice/2012/11/healthy-green-bean-casserole-the-recipe-redux/

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/paula-deen/green-bean-casserole-recipe/index.html

In an overview, here is our version:

Ingredients:

3 pounds green beans, trimmed (I literally grabbed a bunch at Sprouts and it was plenty)

1 tablespoon + 2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil

1 tablespoon butter

1/2 of an onion chopped

1/4 teaspoon salt

Fresh ground pepper

1/2 teaspoon dried thyme

2 packages (8 oz) cremini mushrooms, sliced

2 tablespoons whole wheat flour

2 tablespoons all purpose flour

2 cups 2 percent lactose free milk

Frenches Fried Onion topping

You can substitute any ingredients for organic ingredients and that would make it even better!

What we did:

Trim the ends of green beans and washed them. Boil the green beans for about 15 minutes. 

Sautee onions and mushrooms in pan with oil and butter for about 8 minutes or so. Stir in salt, pepper and thyme.

In another pan, we added milk and some more butter constantly stirring while slowly adding all the flour. Stir, stir and stir. 

Then we added the milky mixture in with the veggies and stir some more.

Add green beans and stir! 

To make it more creamy add more flour or milk till it looks yummy. 

Pour mushy green bean yumminess into your favorite casserole dish, and (this is the best part) pour the fried crunchies on top! 

We had some bread crumbs in our pantry so I put some of those on top too to add more crunch to it. ;)

Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. 

Enjoy!

When we took our casserole to the Bohanan Thanksgiving, it was gone within 10 minutes, and boy was it good! We were impressed with our own cooking skills. haha. 

And for those of you who are lactose intolerant like me, we also used lactose free milk for the mashed potatoes. Those turned out yummy as well!

Hope you all try this casserole dish at home! 

Committing to Him When the Pain Keeps Coming

This week, I was reading the bible and pondering on the verse that says, "Commit your way to the Lord" Ps. 37:5. To truly commit my way to the Lord is to give it to Him and leave it with Him. Usually, I lay it before Him and then walk away with it again accomplishing nothing.

How do I commit something like a health condition to the Lord that physically does not really go away. I wake up with it each morning and fall asleep with it. So, how do I truly give it to God and let go?

I have been so thankful lately that God is blessing me with a season these past few months of a "break" from my Crohn's disease symptoms. I spend a normal amount of time in the restroom like everyone else (once a day :)). I have more energy lately, and I am able to eat more in my diet. Also, I am almost done weaning off of Pentasa.

Although my typical crohn's symptoms are under control, this does not mean that my whole body is healthy like a normal person's either. I must not forget that I still have an autoimmune disease that can affect every aspect of my body.

Unfortunately while my stomach symptoms are getting better, my joint pain is getting worse and my GI doctor believes I developed a form of arthritis, which very common with Crohn's patients.

My joint pain started in the spring right after I weaned off of Endocort, a type of steroid. My doctor believes the steroid was keeping my arthritis from starting in my body. I cannot go back on the Edocort as a long term solution, because steroids are not good for the body long term.

So, my doctor is trying very hard to get me in to see a rheumatologist so I can get a correct diagnoses and form a treatment plan that is best for me.

In the mean time, tomorrow I will be getting my first steroid injection into my left thumb joint. This joint hurts the worst, and I have lost some range of motion. I'm nervous about the shot, because the idea of a shot going into a joint and not fat gives me the chills! eek.

I joke around a lot with my friends saying that with my health condition it seems to just be "one thing after another!" There are days I do not want to commit my health, my worries, my fears, my anger and my frustrations to the Lord. I want to control it and just deal with it. Or ignore it. Pretend it's not there.

But the God blesses persistence. God asks us to have faith in Him, because "He can do immeasurably more than ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us (Eph. 3:21)."

He can only bless us if we allow Him to work within us. We must allow Him to take control. We must give Him the reigns each morning and maybe multiple times through the day.

Lord,

I am so thankful that you are giving me healing and relief from my stomach problems I have struggled with for so long. I know that your hands are on me and giving me physical relief.

I want to leave before you right now my fears that are rising over my arthritis pain. How will this affect my future? Can I handle this and Crohn's disease too? I know I can't, that is why I need you. I'm so young. I want a future that allows me range of motion and flexibility and no pain to take care of my future babies. With my pain in my thumb, I want to be able to pick up my baby, fold laundry and do dishes.

These are my fears that are swirling around in my head. Take them. Please. Give me strength tomorrow and all the days to continue to commit myself to you - not just my medical concerns but all aspects of my life, my marriage, my future, my family and my job.

Amen

Did the Flu Shot Give Me the Flu?

My husband and I both have contracted what we believe is the flu. No, we have no visited a doctor, but it's pretty easy to detect the flu - fever, runny and stuffy nose, congestion, dry cough, headache and body aches. We both started feeling sick on the same day too.

So, who caught it from who?

About 3 weeks ago, I received my annual flu shot like the good girl that I am. Isaac did not. Isaac has never gotten a flu shot and says he never gets the flu - until now. Looking back on my childhood, I always got the flu at least once a year. Although, I don't seem to get the flu as much not that I am in my twenties.

This article has been trending Facebook telling readers 11 reasons you should not get the flu shot. Our sickness and this article created dialogue between my husband and I that got me thinking. Did the flu shot give me the flu, thus giving the flu to Isaac? Should I continue getting a flu shot?

The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (The CDC) provides this FAQ page about the flu shot. What I got from this is that the flu shot is altered every season by scientists making an estimated prediction as to what types of flu will be most "popular" in communities. The flu shot does not protect against all types of colds and flu viruses, only those that are predicted to be most common. So, yes you can get sick and have other flu-like viruses even after getting the flu shot.

The CDC says that those who are most vulnerable are those with lowered immune systems, babies and the elderly. However, they suggest that everyone receive the seasonal flu shot.

I have a lowered immune system due to the immunosuppressant injection (Cimzia) I take bi-monthly for my Crohn's disease. uh oh.

The Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA) supports the CDC by encouraging all inflammatory bowel disease patients, especially those who are taking immunosuppressant drugs, to get a flu shot. The CCFA's website also says that the flu shot will protect individuals from common strains of flu viruses - only the most common ones.

Like the trending Facebook article talks about, it is true that the flu shot puts a little bit of the virus in your body to help your body become immune to the common spreading virus. However according to www.cdc.gov:

No, a flu shot cannot cause flu illness. Flu vaccines that are administered with a needle are currently made in two ways: the vaccine is made either with a) flu vaccine viruses that have been 'inactivated' and are therefore not infectious, or b) with no flu vaccine viruses at all (which is the case for recombinant influenza vaccine). The most common side effects from the influenza shot are soreness, redness, tenderness or swelling where the shot was given. Low-grade fever, headache and muscle aches also may occur.

The most interesting fact I found on the CDC's webpage was their blunt confession that "unfortunately the flu vaccine does not always provide adequate protection against the flu. This is more likely to occur among people with weakened immune systems or people age 65 and older."

So basically, the flu shot is not something to bank on nor, in my opinion, is it a complete waste of time. I believe it is better than nothing, but no it doesn't always work. And it does not keep you safe from all flu viruses across the board. 

Truly, the best ways to stay safe from viruses in general is to:

Wash your hands regularly

Stay away from other sick people. Maybe walk around with a mask on from November till May...jk, but seriously. 

Take vitamins that help build a strong immune system

Do what you can to built up your immune system. Our bodies are intricately complex and designed to fight internal battles. But we must supply the tools and nutrients it needs for those battles.

What do you think? I'd love to hear other's view on getting the flu shot - especially those with chronic illnesses.

The Model Home Seduction

In the one year that we have been homeowners, I have fallen prey to the seduction of model home. From the day our offer was accepted on our home, my head started making plans. Plans that included many dollar signs.

First, I made plans to fill all the blank walls. And there are so many blank walls to fill. Then I made plans to purchase decorations for every major holiday. I did not realize how many holidays there are till I wanted to decorate for them. More plans followed with desires for new and additional furniture to fill our home (inside and outside), new floors, kitchen counter tops and of course backsplash. When spring came, more plans began to develop in my mind for landscaping. And the list just goes on. I wanted all this and a vacation! 

There are things you need as a homeowner, like a mower, blinds for privacy, a refrigerator and a washer and dryer. Many of my plans did not include necessities but wants that sure felt like needs. 

The lure of the model home I believe is a struggle for many women. If my home is beautiful, put- together, clean and decorated like a Pottery Barn catalog, people will think that my life is just as great. If my home meets certain perfection requirements, then people will see that my life is calm, cool and collected as well. Friends and family will never know that we live off of a budget. Guests will never know what we can't afford. 

Such dirty little lies. 

I'm slaughtering these lies with the truth that we do live on a budget. We can't afford all my plans right now. And that is okay. 

To obsess over and strive for the perfect model home will create a less than perfect life.  

Spending money constantly on unnecessary material things will affect finances, which in turn will  cause anxiety and strain on a marriage. Maybe just little arguments here and there, but it can grow. And this is not the kind of growth I want in my household. 

When my focus is centered around creating a false appearance and pleasing house guests, my heart is not focused on loving my husband and just enjoying our time together as newlyweds. My mind is not focused on spending time with the Lord and finding fulfillment from Him in His Word. 

My husband has consistently reminded me we have to pace ourselves when making adjustments to our home. When it comes to finances, the necessary items must come first (like when we had to purchase four new tires for my car last week). The things we want must be budgeted, saved for and spaced out (like wood floors).

To be smart with money is to be smart with marriage. 

Healthy Fall Slow-Cooker Chicken Stew

This week, my husband and I made the perfect healthy, fall, crockpot chicken stew with a side of baked french bread. We even ate it at the table with a pumpkin as the center piece just to envelop us in the season of fall.

Click this link to find the recipe and try it yourself. Healthy Fall Slow-Cooker Chicken Stew

This recipe is perfect for someone with tummy troubles like inflammatory bowel disease. Very low fat. Instead of regular bacon for flavor, I used turkey bacon. All the veggies were soft as baby food and easy to digest. And the meat was extra lean. Pair your hot bowl of stew with some french bread, and you have a calm, satisfied tummy.

Two years ago when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, I was not smooth in the kitchen. Actually, my version of cooking was whipping up some Kraft mac-n-cheese. ha. When I realized that I could help my Crohn's symptoms and my health by drastically adjusting my diet and learning to cook Crohn's- friendly foods, I jumped right in.

However, learning to change my diet and learning to cook has been a process. It is a process I have had to be patient with. At times, my meals just plain stink. They don't turn out how I envisioned or how the photo looked online. And sometimes, I succeed - like this week with my chicken stew. Learning how to cook for my stomach is a long process of trial and error. I don't usually like trial and error, because I am impatient and want good food now. But that's not reality.

I may never be a master chef in the kitchen, but I do know that with some patience and an open-mind, anyone can learn to cook delicious, healthy meals that keep the stomach happy. :)