Wanna See My Guts?

Ew gross! No really, I would like to share with you what my Crohn's disease really looks like!

I had my colonoscopy almost two weeks ago, and I received a great report! It has been two and a half year since my diagnoses and first colonoscopy, and I have come to a good place with my health. Praise Jesus. Below I would like to share with you real photos of my intestines and colon. 

The first photo is a drawing my doctor gave me to visually show me where my Crohn's inflammation is located. I am a very visual person, so this helped. Inflammation and ulcers can appear anywhere in the GI tract and mine is mostly in my colon and small intestine. 

The next three photos are from my most recent scope. You can see the inside of my small intestine and my colon. See how they are fairly pinkish-white looking? That is good. They are not inflammed and red. Also, you can see yellow arrows where she points out some inactive Crohn's ulcers.  I still have the illness; it is just not inflammed right now. 

The last three photos are from my scope when I was first diagnosed. See how much more red they are filled with yellow mucus? Yuck. I have come a long way. :)

                                

                                      

So, does this mean I am in remission? That was the first question I sleepily asked my doctor when I awoke from the anesthesia. She said that technically according to the photos, no. But symptomatically, yes. My symptoms seem to be under control for the most part. This might be the best I will ever get, and that is fine with me. :)

Remission does not mean I am healed. Remission does not mean I don't get sick anymore. Unfortunately, I still have Crohn's, and I still am having arthritis issues in my hands. The illness affects my whole body. It does mean my symptoms are managed well and under control for the most part temporarily. (Hopefully, a long while!) This is good! Glory to God!

The colonoscopy prep was awful as expected. The three bottles of magnesium citrate I drank made me very bloated and extremely crampy. I was in a lot of pain for nearly two days. I prayed a lot, thanked God for where I am at in my life, sang songs to him with my music on in the bathroom, and also thought about french fries. Ha. I'll admit I was a little cranky off and on, and I hated the prep.

Isaac did not eat for most of my fast. He cheated a little. He only ate some when he was not around me. ;) I am okay with that, because he was scraping the popcorn off of our ceilings and working really hard to make our home look pretty.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!

How to Really Prep for a Colonoscopy

This Sunday, is my colonoscopy prep day. This is one of those days most people do not want to hear about when it comes to having Crohn's disease. Most people don't even want to know I am having a colonoscopy at all. Just leave that part out. TMI!

I can't though. I just can't. It is so much a part of having Inflammatory Bowel Disease and a part of my young life right now. 

Those of you who don't know what a colonoscopy is, let me enlighten you. 

Usually young people are unaware of this procedure, because unless you have a reason, like me, for a doctor to look inside your colon and intestines, you will not need a colonoscopy till later in life. Medical professionals encourage adults to have a colonoscopy regularly after they turn 50 years old to test for things like colon cancer, polyps, tumors, imflammation etc. 

Colonoscopy is a test that allows your doctor to look at the inner lining of your large intestine  (rectum and colon). He or she uses a thin, flexible tube called a colonoscope to look at the colon. 

The colonoscope is a thin, flexible tube that ranges from 48 in. (122 cm) to 72 in. (183 cm) long. A small video camera is attached to the colonoscope so that your doctor can take pictures or video of the large intestine (colon). The colonoscope can be used to look at the whole colon and the lower part of the small intestine. 

Before this test, you will need to clean out your colon (colon prep). Colon prep takes 1 to 2 days, depending on which type of prep your doctor recommends. Some preps may be taken the evening before the test. For many people, the prep for a colonoscopy is more trying than the actual test. Plan to stay home during your prep time since you will need to use the bathroom often. The colon prep causes loose, frequent stools and diarrhea so that your colon will be empty for the test. The colon prep may be uncomfortable and you may feel hungry on the clear liquid diet. - www.webmd.com

I had to have a colonoscopy in order to be officially diagnosed with Crohn's disease so that the doctor could point out and actually see the inflammation lining my intestines and colon. This time, I am hoping they see that the inflammation has subsided. 

It's true though, the prep, the day before the procedure, is the worst part of it all. Not only can I not eat solid foods all day long, but I have to drink a strong laxative that removes all the bowels inside my intestines. So, I will be on the toilet for quite a while Sunday. I even am prepping for the prep! I bought a book to read, soft toilet paper and wipes. 

Tonight as I am thinking about and dreading Sunday, I ask myself if I want to go to church on Sunday morning. Immediately I think, no, I'd much rather sleep in to make the day go by faster and stay near a toilet. 

But then I heard God say to me, Come worship me, and I will feed you. You will hunger no more. 

I'll admit, I hate fasting. I have never had the desire to fast. Never saw the point. Never wanted to. I want to eat. I want food! I can still love God, put Him first and eat food. So, screw that. 

On Sunday, I will have no choice but to medically fast. But I feel that God is also calling me to take this opportunity to spiritually fast - to sings songs for him, to read his Word, and to lean on Him when I am hungry and in pain. 

And that is what I will do. 

I am writing out my plan to spiritually fast publicly so that I can be kept more accountable to follow through with God's request. 

I will write a follow up blog post next week to report back how my colonoscopy prep went and the results. Please say a prayer for me on Sunday. If you personally know me, do not hesitate to text me to ask how my spiritual fast is going. ;) 

My sweet husband has even offered to fast with me to make the experience easier on me. Let's keep him accountable too! 

Thank you!

My New Year's Hope

While everyone has been making their New Years resolutions, I have been putting off writing about what I truly hope for for 2014. Mostly out of fear. Fear that if I write down my hope, that I might jinks it and ruin it. 

This year, I have hope for a change. A change that I have been working and praying towards for two and a half years now. 

Remission from my Crohn's disease.  

A break, a pause, a rest from an illness that I know will follow me till a cure is found. 

That is only what remission is. Just a break. It could be a year, three years or 10 years. I don't know. But a break sounds nice. And a break will do just fine. 

I truly believe I am unofficially in remission from my stomach/intestinal symptoms. I have had only one to two bathroom visits per day for approximately six months now. That is something to be proud of. :) Here and there I have stomach upsets, but nothing that last longer than a day or two. 

On Monday January 13, 2014, a colonoscopy should tell me where my inflammation levels are at currently. And then I will know if I have reached my goal. Although, my prayers have already been answered. 

God just give me a break. I'm tired. I need your strength. 

And he did just that. Right after my tough bout of Steven Johnson Syndrome in August 2013 with a fever for three weeks straight, God gave me a break. Thank you Jesus. 

Ever since I was told I had Crohn's disease in September 2011, I have thought will I ever feel normal again? Will I feel sick, tired, in pain, unable to eat yummy food, and running to the bathroom 20 times a day forever?

There have been moments I never thought I'd catch a break. But thankfully, I have. 

Yes, the illness remains in my body, maybe forever, managed by a bi-monthly immunosuppressant injection for now. However, the symptoms, the pain, the tears, the fear, the shame, the physical and emotional fatigue is not forever. 

I really believe when I call upon the strongest healer, my God, that He helps me. He will sustain me and carry me through my trials of life. He may not heal my physical ailment, but he can heal my heart. He heals my fear. He heals my sadness and replaces it with joy. He heals my shame, and gives me strength to share my troubles. He replaces pain with joy. 

This is ultimate healing.