Faith in a Plan

Sometimes I wonder what God wants Isaac and I to do for him? I know we both want to work, have kids, be parents etc. But I wonder, if there is something else too? Does he have other plans for us that we do not know about yet? I have always had a desire before I was married for my future spouse and I to serve God somehow together. Or at least serve God maybe doing different things but along side one another. I’m not sure what that looks like though.

I just don’t ever want to be coasting through life missing out on what we should be doing. I think we are exactly where we need to be for right now – adjusting to married life and learning to love each other in the very beginning of our marriage.

We may not always know why situations are the way they are, whether good or bad. But those situations are part of a plan. A plan that I hope we stay on track with. We cannot stick to His plan without keeping our eyes on Him. That is easier said than done.

I believe that God should come before your spouse. Jesus is “the one” and my spouse is the “two.” But honestly, it can be really hard sometimes. I know I talk to and think about Isaac so much more than my Savior. I don’t mean to. My prayer is that Isaac and I help each other stay on track.

I put my focus on other things more than Jesus too. Like my health condition. I worry about it a lot and spend a lot of time thinking about it.

What if all that time was spent thanking God for what He is doing in my life, leaning on Him, learning to trust Him and building my faith in Him for healing? Isaac has faith that I could be healed. In some areas, Isaac has a lot more faith than me. And I have more fear. I fear the unknown, I fear getting sick, I fear money problems…

This is my verse of the day:

“Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Is. 41:10

Our Newlywed Thanksgiving

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

We sure did. Isaac and I had our first married holiday together. We spend the first half of the day in Duncan, OK where Isaac’s grandma lives. I had never been there before, and it was a cute little town. It is where his 

mom grew up.

We had to leave early, because I ended up having a bad allergic reaction his grandma’s cat. Ugh! I felt bad that we had to leave earlier than expected. We wanted to spend time with his grandma since we hadn’t seen her since our wedding.

Then we drove back to OKC to go to my grandparent’s house to spend the evening with my family watching football and eating their Thanksgiving leftovers.  By the end of the day, we were pooped!

Izzy and I were passed out on our couch back at home by 8:30 pm. Dang!

I was able to eat a little more this year at thanksgiving compared to last year. I think I felt more confident in what I knew I could handle, and my gut is not as inflamed right now either. So, both of those things helped! I stayed away from the super fatty stuff like green bean casserole, dishes with lots of butter or any dairy type products.

Mostly, I ate turkey, plain green beans (I brought my own can, because every likes to season these with lots of butter or bacon!), rolls, a little bit of salad, little bit of mashed potatoes and that was it! It doesn’t take much to fill me up.

For dessert, I had made me own monster cookies for everyone and ate those. Also, I had a little bit of apple pie with frozen yogurt that I brought. I got a little bloated and upset by the end of the day, but who doesn’t on thanksgiving??

The important thing was I was able to enjoy the day without being stuck in the bathroom!

Isaac and I did have a very busy Thanksgiving by splitting the day up, but we were glad because we were able to spend the rest of the weekend together. We wanted some time with each other to relax and sleep in. We enjoyed it. J

Here are some family photos we took on Thanksgiving in my grandparent’s backyard with our doggy J

Oh by the way, a few posts back I wrote that I had steroid induced rosacea. Well, I can tell it has gotten better from this prescription I got called Finacea. See the pic below. I can definitely see improvement. :)

The Best Probiotic

Most everyone has seen commercials for probiotics to balance your digestive system. You may have browsed the probiotics in the drug store trying to figure out which one is the best one.

What makes them different? Which one is the best? Some are more expensive than others, why?

Well, I don’t know all these answers yet. I’m still trying to figure it out myself! I have wondered why some are so freaking expensive. And I have been overwhelmed with the options, wondering which one is best for me.

I can tell you what I do know so far.

I started out taking Align when I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I can say that Align helped my bloating and gas tremendously, and I really liked it. This brand worked well for me, and I took it for almost a year.

The reason I decided to try something different was because of the cost. A box that lasted me for a little over a month cost me about 50 dollars! With all the other drugs and prescriptions I pay for, that was just adding too much to my monthly budget.

So, I went back to the drug store and stared at my options. I decided to try Phillips Colon Health probiotic, which was cheaper. I think it was like 15-20 dollars for a month. I tried that for a little while, and 

I didn’t really like the results. I noticed more bloating and gas.

So, my doctor suggested that I try Acidophilus Pearls. For a 90 day supply I got them for about 20 dollars at Walgreens. Wow! I am almost out and have been taking them for almost 3 months, and I can say that they are great! Just as good as Align. They are the cutest pill I have ever seen. It is really tiny and totally looks like a pearl.

So what is the difference among all these and what exactly do probiotics do? The main difference among all these probiotics is based on how many live cells they have in them and what type of live cultures are in them.                

This is what I found from www.livestrong.com:

Nothing more frustrating than bloating, gas, fatigue, cramps, or diarrhea on a consistent basis, which is a good indicator that probiotics are needed to reduce or eliminate the problem. Probiotics are the good bacteria that protect the body from disease and are essential to build the immune system, improve digestion and control inflammation. The other benefits of probiotics include treating urinary tract infections, irritable bowel syndrome and helping to prevent eczema and food allergies in children. Probiotics may also help people who suffer with lactose intolerance because the bacteria in them can help people digest the sugar in dairy products, especially in milk. Probiotics have also been shown to improve how the body breaks down vitamins and minerals such as calcium, iron, zinc, copper, magnesium and phosphorus.

These are the differences among these three probiotics:

Acidophilus Pearls:

Pearls helps relieve gas and cramping, bloating and constipation. It has two live cultures (Lactobacillus acidophilus and Bifidobacterium longum) in each capsule that help support the intestinal tract. Take one capsule per day, preferably with water. This product may be taken with or without food (livestrong.com).

Each serving has 1 billion CFU – amount of live cultures. More live cultures does not necessarily mean better quality. It means different probiotics can be effective at different levels. So, each one is different for each person depending on how you need it. (www.isaap.net)

Align:

This once-a-day capsule has Bifidobacterium infantis or Bifantis, which is a unique bacteria strain that has been proven to build a healthy digestive system and maintain healthy gastrointestinal flora. Align is the only probiotic on the market that contains Bifantis (www.livestrong.com).

Align also has 1 billion CFUs according to the Align website.

Phillips Colon Health:

Phillips’s has 1.5 billion CFUs per capsule.  These probiotic caps naturally rebalance your digestive system and promote regularity, with a proprietary blend of 3 of the most beneficial strains of good bacteria*:

Lactobacillus gasseri - To support nutrient absorption and lactose digestion

Bifidobacterium bifidum - To help guard against occasional intestinal disturbances

Bifidobacterium longum - To support digestive and immune health. These bacteria help naturally defend against occasional digestive upsets (www.phillipsrelief.com)

From what I can see, there is not a perfect probiotic. It depends on you and your body. You might just have to do trial and error and figure out what is best for you. I would think it also depends on how out of whack your digestive health is. I would think it would benefit everyone to take a probiotic, because of all the good it can do for your health in general.

Let me know what you think and what probiotics you have tried! 

A Different Kind of Strep and Rosacea

Update on my thrush that turned out to not be thrush:

So, you may have remembered a few posts ago when I wrote about thrush. Well for months I have had what I thought was thrush in my mouth. I took four 7 to 10 day doses of Difflucan to try and “kill” the yeast fungus in my mouth. That did nothing. The doctors were stumped.

Finally, I went in to see my general practitioner and she swabbed my mouth to culture it. When the culture came back, it showed that I had strep. Not strep throat. It is a different kind of strep. I have had no sore throat and no fever. I never would have guessed, and I didn't know there was such a thing.

If I have had an infection for the last 2 months, that would explain why I have been so freakin tired and just not feeling well in general. I have been able to function; I just have not felt “normal.” Of course, it has been strep mixed with tapering off Prednisone and still fighting Crohns. All of that just wears me out. Phew!

I think I am still trying to swallow the fact that a common symptom of Crohn's is chronic fatigue. 

So anyways, the doctor started me on some antibiotics Ampicillan. And after a few days, my mouth and tongue look almost normal again! I have not seen my tongue look pink in months! I hope it heals completely. Isaac and I celebrated last night by making out. Ha! I know, TMI.

7 days after I started the antibiotic, I went to the doctor for several symptoms I had been having for a week of just feeling ill- migraines, nausea, extreme fatigue, fever and a period that was on day 8. 

I still do not know the cause of all these symptoms yet, but I do know that I stopped the antibiotic and resumed Entocort - a drug that I had stopped last week. My GI doctor said I could stop taking it ( a drug that I had been on for a year a half) since I am on Cimzia now. I'm not sure if I had some kind fo reaction to coming off of it or what. They ran a bunch of blood tests etc. 

My forever long period that still has not stopped was apparently brought on by the antibiotic. Weird, I know. 

Steroid induced rosacea:

For the last month or two I have noticed my cheeks have been blushed or really red looking. It has gotten worse over time, and the redness is constantly there with little bumps and red veiny looking things on my cheeks. Heat and stress make it stand out more, but it never completely goes away. It does not make me feel attractive, and it is hard to cover it up with make up.

Isaac says I still look beautiful and he doesn't really notice it much. But I do. I see it, and it bothers me. I don’t like it.

My general practitioner suggested I go see a dermatologist. Last week, I saw a dermatologist, and she said it looks like steroid induced rosacea. Great. She thinks it should go away with time and being off the steroid. I sure hope so.

I had been using this Redness Relief Eucerine cream twice a day, when I noticed it was making the skin on my face feel really tight and it became extremely dry and itchy/ It was gross looking. It stings when I put it on. 

So, the dermatologist prescribed me this gel stuff called Fenacea. Tonight is my first night to try it, so we will see...

My skin all over has been so itchy lately. It might just be dryness in the air and the weather changing. Has anyone else felt this??? 

Let me vent:

It is times like these that frustrate me. It just feels like one thing after another. I want to cry. When will I feel normal again? I just want to have a break. I constantly feel tired all the time.

Is it ok for me to just vent in this blog post? I don’t like to whine a ton publicly about my health condition, but sometimes you just need to! It sucks having an autoimmune disease at 25 years old. I’m young. I’m not supposed to feel this way. I’m supposed to have energy and not go to the doctor so much. People always remind me, it could always be worse…yes, yes I know, but it doesn't mean it is not hard.  

I have learned to put a smile on my face a look somewhat normal even when I feel like crap, because I do  not want to look ill all the time and get attention for being sick all the time. I want to be understood that I am having a hard time, but I don't want people to feel sorry for me all the time. On the other hand, it has hard when I am feeling bad and people are like, "oh, well you look good." How I feel does not always show on the outside. 

I know it will get better. It has before. It goes up and down. It comes and goes. 

Lord, help me to see the good in this situation. Show me how you can use me with this condition. Heal me, soothe me, love me, protect me, and give me peace. Thank you. 

We bought a House!

Last weekend, Isaac and I bought our first home together. Wowee! We are still a little in shock thinking, did we really just purchase a home? When did we grow old enough to do that??

We began looking actually not too long after we got back from our honeymoon. Before we even began looking, we went to speak to a mortgage broker to see financially what this would look like and get pre-approved to buy a home. We had to find out if we were allowed and were able to buy a home first, before we started looking.

Looking for us did not mean we are for sure buying a house. We were just seeing what was out there and learning about what it meant to buy/own a home.

The looking part was harder than I thought it would be. I became very picky. I didn’t think I would be picky, because anything sounded better than a one bedroom apartment. But I realized than when you are putting so much money into something, it is okay to be somewhat picky. I also realized that you will not get everything you want in a first home. You must be willing to sacrifice some wants and realize you can get them later.

These are the most important things to me when we were looking for a home:

Layout- I wanted an open layout. I wanted the kitchen to be somewhat open to the dining and living room.

Pantry- must have for me.

Fireplace-also a must have

Good natural light meaning lots of windows

Good size closet space

3 bedrooms 2 bath

Fence in backyard for our sweetie pie (our dog Izzy)

Fairly updated-I did not want to buy a “fixer upper”

Big open kitchen with a lot of counter space and cabinets- I ended up with a smaller, galley kitchen. It is smaller than I had hoped for, but that was the one big thing I decided I could live without for a little while. 

Overall, I love the whole house, and the price and location were great so that is why I am good with our cute, little kitchen. Also, the kitchen feels bigger, because it is open to the living room.

After our offer on the home was accepted, (we made an offer after the home had been on the market for a day!) the real craziness began. The mortgage company was constantly calling asking for bank statements, copies of old checks from the past few months, running credit reports, questions about things on our credit, sending us paperwork to sign and fax back etc. We also had to shop for home insurance.

 A few days before we were supposed to close, a miscommunication happened between the sellers and their realtor. Long story short, we were told the sellers could not be out of the house by close.

After much negotiation and many phone calls back and forth with our realtor, (stress levels were high), we all came to a negotiation. We decided to close on Friday, and the sellers had until 4:30 pm the next day to be out of the house. We made a new contract that said this, and that they were financially responsible for any damage that might happen to the house after we closed. It was kind of like a lease agreement till they vacated. Our realtor collected a deposit from the sellers at close, and he would give it back to them after we did a second walk-through of the house after they had officially moved out.

When we did our first walk through on Friday, surprisingly they were almost completely out of the house. It was basically empty except for things in the garage and backyard. They ended up vacating earlier than expected on Saturday, which was great for us!

In the end, it all worked out and we are moved in. We have been living among boxes for the last week, but we our in our new home!

Here are some photos! You can see how large the backyard is! 

Izzy loves all the space to run around and having a backyard. Isaac loves his “man room,” and I love my home to decorate J I already know where I am going to put the Christmas tree!

My Crohns with moving:

The only time my stomach really acted up was right before closing. We went to the bank to get our cashier’s check, and I guess I got nervous. All of a sudden, I had bad stomach pain and had to have diarrhea. I was in the bathroom for a little while before we were able to get on our way to the title company. Once we got there and started going through the paperwork, I was fine and my nerves settled down.

On moving day, I felt pretty good. Thank goodness! I was even able to eat a few slices of pizza and nothing really healthy as a meal.