Primary Care Physician Problems

Recently, I found out that my primary care physician will not be accepting my health insurance as of July 2013. This is really difficult news for me, because I have had a hard time finding someone covered under my insurance who I like, who spends enough time with me when I do not feel well and who can manage my health well without being rushed. Doctor's are very busy these days, and it is difficult to find one who is thorough and does not rush through each patient. I am not a "5-minute" patient.

After I got over the initial shock of the letter I received in the mail, I have just been thinking about it. No need to rush into finding someone new. I still have time. I know God will take care of me and find me someone who can help manage my health well. I am just going to be praying about this. If you have any suggestions for me of anyone in the Edmond/OKC area, please let me know.

After switching GI doctors a year ago, I really have grown to like my GI doctor and her nurse. They know me by name, always call me back promptly and spend an adequate amount of time with me with I come in for my appointments. She is very thorough and always seems positive that I will reach remission someday soon and that there will be a cure in my lifetime. I like that about her. She is good about managing my drugs and getting me what I need. This is what I need in a PCP as well.

My last appointment with my GI went well. I have officially been off of Endocort (a low dosage steroid that I have been on since diagnosis) for nearly a month now. That feel so nice to be rid of a drug! I am now in the slow process of weening off of Pentasa, an anti inflammatory drug that I have been on since diagnosis. She says hopefully my body will only need Cimzia, but we will see how I do while weening off Pentasa. I have seen a small increase in symptoms since the start of my ween. If symptoms continue or get worse, I will stop the weening.

Managing drugs and symptoms is still such a new and overwhelming thing for me. I hope I get better at it as time goes by. Or better yet, I hope I just get better in general! I hope as I continue to feel better that my energy increases. I'm 26 years old, I really would like more energy to be able to enjoy more activities in a day.

The Impact of Sharing My Story

Well, I am 7 days away from my first Crohn's and Colitis Fundraiser on May 4 here in OKC. I'm pretty excited about it. By choosing to participate in this process, I have already met more people than I imagined who have Crohn's disease like me. Not only have I met people who I can relate to, my team has also raised more than 1,500 dollars! That went over our my initial goal! I am so thankful for all the generosity and support that has come my way.

I was blessed with an opportunity at work that helped spread awareness and raised funds for my team. Chesapeake came to me and asked if they could put my personal story out on it's employee home page. At first, I was overwhelmed with the idea of sharing my story with all thousands of employees who work for Chesapeake across the United States. I had no idea what kind of response I would get. But I decided to do it. I thought if I want to meet more people like me, raise awareness and understanding of my illness, then I must take this opportunity. And I am so glad that I did!

The week the story was posted, I received so many emails, prayers and donations! I have made some friends and increased my confidence in sharing my story. It is important to be heard, speak up and to educate. It is important for me and it is important for those who do not know. I learned that my voice and my story made a difference. It touched others. People who suffer from any type of illness shouldn't have to suffer alone. We need support. We need each other.

~

This last week was not a great one for me. I did not feel great. Spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom with more loss of blood than I like and spent a lot of time curled up on the couch or my bed. My headaches has increased as well. I believe I not only am getting migraine headaches, but also something called cluster headaches. My joints in my hands have been really achy. Some of my fingers are so sore I cannot pick up a bowl with one hand. I have a doctor's appointment next week. I am feeling better this weekend so far, and I sure hope this next week I feel good!

Please be praying for me!

If you would like to donate to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation please follow the link below.

http://online.ccfa.org/site/TR/SpecialEvents/Chapter-NorthTexas?px=2773189&pg=personal&fr_id=3890

Love: A Noun or a Verb?

Love.

The word brings to mind hearts, pink, flowers, marriage, sex, kissing, passion, movies, ballads...feelings. I immediately think of feelings I have felt when I feel love. I think of how media has defined the meaning of love from birth. Is that all true? I think to an extent.

When I look up the definition of love in the dictionary it says, "a noun: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person; a feeling of warm personal affection for another person; sexual passion or desire."

As a verb it says in the dictionary, "to have love or affection for; to have profoundly tender, passionate affection for,; to have a strong liking for; to need or require; to have sexual intercourse with."

Really? The very sounds almost exactly like the noun. Sounds like a whole bunch of feelings. I'm kind of shocked that is all the dictionary said. Feelings come and go. Anger, annoyance, grumpiness, happiness, passion...they all just come and go.

I am a christian. There is no hiding that. The bible's definition of love is probably something everyone has heard recited either in the movies, at church or most commonly, in a wedding. This definition is so overlooked. We know the words. Some of us know it by heart. But rarely do we live this definition of love. So often do we forget how to love. We rely on feeling it instead of doing it. We base our relationships off of feelings.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor other, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (I Cor. 13:4-8)

These are verbs. These are actions. This is an action template for how to love. How to make it work through better and worse. Through good feelings and bad feelings.

This definition is real. I have been reading these words since I was a little girl. They still look very difficult to accomplish. This definition of love looks hard. It looks scary a bit scary honestly, because I am a sinner. I fail all the time at this type of love. I'm the most impatient person I know. I'm not always kind. It's really hard to not keep a record of wrongs. And I know I can be a selfish woman.

But God says this kind of love never fails. This is the kind of love I want in my life and in my family history.

I choose to pick my sinful self up each day and choose to love this way. I choose to fight for love as an action. I choose to rely on true love.

These are words we should write on our hearts. Put at the forefront of our minds. Last year on my wedding day, I vowed to spend my life striving to live this kind of love. Making a vow to someone is even more of a reason to make love my actions.

Love as an action is no easy task, but it is one that lasts and never fails.